Tired of Putting on A Fake Smile for Everyone

I've been struggling more and more as of late. Its getting old trying to pretend I'm okay and attempt to be functional only to please the people surrounding me. I feel like there is so much going through my head that I must face alone. Its breaking me more and more. I wish I could talk about these things with the people in my life but I've been down that road before and it only leads to disaster. I feel like so much is building up and bottling it all up is only making matters worse. Much worse to be honest. It would be nice to feel somewhat understood for once and not feel so alone in my fight. I hold myself together the best I can but I feel like I'm losing ground more and more each day.

Dear Hutan Besar ...
The girl who seemed unbreakable, broke.
The girl who seemed strong, crumbled.
The girl who always laughed, cried.
The girl who never stopped trying, finally gave up.

------------------- So much deep secrets, end of July 2015 -------------------