Her Mind

I am learning that it isn’t my job to make people good, that I don’t need to make others realize what they did wrong if they don’t see it themselves.

I am learning that some people won’t accept me, no matter how hard I try. I will give them my everything, but they won’t see the light that shines in my eyes.

I am learning that kindness isn’t always returned with kindness and friendship often with pain, and sometimes I make mistakes that I wish I didn’t, and I lose people whom I wanted to stay, but nothing that I do can stop them from going far away from me.

I am learning that healing and hurting often come hand in hand, that the journey is messy, non-linear and often filled with enough challenges that make me want to give up. But life is beautiful, experiences add color and people, they are what makes everything worthwhile.

I am learning that I don’t need to have everything figured out and I just need to look at my own time-scale, rather than focusing on what other people are doing in their lives. I need to focus on myself. Direct all that energy inside my own mind and soul and hope that it allows some magic to grow.

I am learning that I will continue learning today, tomorrow and in the days that follow. I will experience things that break me, and bring me joy, and enlighten me in vibrant ways. I will keep learning until I feel wiser, kinder, and whole. Even then, I will continue learning because there is so much within this world to learn, there is so much that I need to know, there is lots of room left to grow.

Senayan, June 2019